You know who you are. You have chosen your way over God’s way. You shut me and everyone else out while you were living your way. It was four long months before you reappeared and showed your angry, hurting rebellious side. You have written that you want me back, but on your terms and not as a member of our spiritual family. My heart breaks, but that is something I do not feel led to do. I will not enable you to live wrongly. I love you too much for that.
Recently, I sent you encouraging, beautiful scriptures showing you that nothing, absolutely nothing can separate you from God’s love, or from mine, for that matter. Romans 8:35-39 shows that.
When God used me to lead you in the sinner’s prayer, it was such a blessing. I knew at that time that you surrendered yourself to Jesus not only as Savior but as Lord. That’s when you began to live for Him. You had your struggles, and you reached out to me in desperation and emotional pain. Remember those times? Remember how comforted and encouraged you were by the scriptures God led me to send to you? Remember how fear and anxiety left, and you were free to move forward with the life God gave you to live?
Then your life began to get better, and you began changing. There was a special someone in your life who is no longer there. He made you feel loved, protected, special. You truly shared everything together. And, you finished your university training and struggled with finding a place to begin your new professional life. God provided in a way you least expected, for that door had been previously closed to you. God has been with you the whole time. He never left, and neither have I.
When I asked you how your relationship with God is after you reappeared, your reply was “lousy”. It doesn’t have to be that way, you know. You can choose to return to His embrace and move forward spiritually. Yes, it requires some changes, but God will help you. You are not alone in those changes. He will provide for your needs as long as you seek Him and His kingdom first. (Matthew 6:33) God wants to be involved in every aspect of your life.
I know you have been hurt in your life, and I am truly sorry. But you know what? That’s true of almost everyone on the planet. Left to our own ways, we can be stuck in those experiences and feelings. Jesus came to set us free from things that hold us back. I pray you look to Him to release you again. He wants you back.
Pray with me, please: Father God, thanks for waking me up spiritually and helping me realize what a longing I have for You in my life. Vodka and beer may dull my senses for a time, but that longing will always be there. Help me to realize how truly powerless I am physically and spiritually and that all these gifts of poetry, of a smart mind and so much more come from You. Help me to appreciate the You in me, and help me to connect to You again and deepen what we had before. I am sorry for leaving You for a while, and I have found that living my way without You in it doesn’t make me happy. I am not happy but am so angry when things don’t work out the way I want them to. Help me to be at peace with Your way and Your blessings and hand in every area of my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.
In closing, you know I am here for you. Don’t delay in contacting me. The spiritual dividing line is going to be set very soon, and it is my fervent hope that you will be on the side of holiness and righteousness.
Your spiritual mother in Christ,
Pastor Sharon Billington
copyright 2016, Pastors George and Sharon Billington, All Rights Reserved