Long before God got my attention, I laughed a lot. Thing is, I was a mess. I was trying desperately to hide the emotional scars from verbal, physical and sexual abuse, and I was not successful. You’ve probably seen some who are like I was who cried on the inside and seemed to always laugh on the outside. My abusers taught me that I was not worthy of love or attention unless I performed the way they wanted.
How different from God, who loved me through that time and many years later to this day. He taught me that being who I am is good enough for Him. However I am: upset, happy, whatever. He taught me that I needed to learn to love, to appreciate myself and see myself as He does. It’s taken years, but His love and approval are all I need. People tend to want me in their boxes, and God wants me to be, well, me and to be authentic.
I am damaged and unable to shed tears even though I feel deeply. God is okay with that. I hope you are, too. God has taught me to be love as He is, and I can authentically rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. God is my everything, and throughout this hard life I’ve had to live, He has always been there, especially at times when others abandoned me.
There are a number of astounding miracles in my life, not the least of which is my relationship with God. You might think that because of abuse, my ability to relate to God as Father and Protector would be compromised. Believe me when I say that when I asked Jesus into my life as Savior, I also asked Him into my life as Lord. Every area of my life has been yielded to Him to transform or use as He sees fit. Nothing separates me from His love.
Let’s pray: Father God, please let these words that flow through me make a difference in the lives You have in mind. May all be encouraged that there is no situation, no mindset that is forever hopeless, for You are the God who transforms minds and hearts to receive You when You determine it’s time to do so. May You grant to all who read these words the encouragement and compassion needed to live Your love. In Jesus’ name, amen.
2 Corinthians 1:3 (NKJV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort,
Romans 8:35-39 (NKJV)
35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 36 As it is written:
“For Your sake we are killed all day long;
We are accounted as sheep for the slaughter.”
37 Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. 38 For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, 39 nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Psalm 145:9 (NKJV)
9 The Lord is good to all,
And His tender mercies are over all His works.
copyright 2017, Pastors George and Sharon Billington, All Rights Reserved